I May Not Be Where I Want to Be but Thank God I’m Not Where I Used to Be
I don’t know about you but my life can often feel like I’m in a perpetual state of self-improvement. I need to get more organized. I should spend more quality time with my family. I really ought to practice better self-care before I get burnt out. I’m going to make goals. I need to buy a planner to keep track of my goals!
We get so caught up in the rat race of looking better, doing better, being better that we rarely take the time to reflect on how far we have actually come.
Just before I sat down to write this blog, I spent the morning mentally tearing my hair out because my to-do list was a mile long, my house is in all manners of disarray because of an impending garage sale I’m trying to avoid at all costs, and I have no idea what I’m feeding my family for dinner.
While all of that adds up to a pretty frustrating day, I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
Why? Because, my life may not be perfect but I wouldn’t trade one second of it for where I used to be.
You see, about five years ago, I was going through one of the lowest points in my life. My marriage of 16 years was ending, the career I had spent years getting a degree for was going nowhere and my anxiety was through the roof! I saw no light at the end of the tunnel and problems seemed to birth more problems. In times like this, the years seem to blur together and your goals get traded in for mere survival. It’s easy to lose sight of where you are going or what you even want out of life anymore.
What I didn’t tell you as I was lamenting about the chaos of this day is that a big part of my to-do list today was writing this blog post…which is just one small part of my job in my new career that I LOVE. And this messy house…I can hear the distant clattering of chores being done by my husband and kids as I type. Dinner? We’ll be ordering a pizza.
Somewhere between that low valley and this peak I am currently looking up from, the crippling anxiety that had once controlled my life slowly fell away and was replaced with manageable chaos, renewed strength, and a confidence that can only be achieved by being in the trenches and coming out on the other side.
So, keep making those goals. Keep trying to better yourself. But every once in a while, try to remember to take the time to reflect on where you use to be and be thankful for where you are now and who you have become because of it.